In The End

In Black Mountain North Carolina, there were a few days when we had the option to attend the classes at Excel college. So naturally we took advantage of them. One of these days all the students (including us) were taken to a cemetery for the final reading of the class. This was in fact a monumental day for the actual students but it was also a day that shaped my life’s view in general. 

The reading was called “Reflection on the Love of Riches and Against Worldly Care” by Richard Baxter, and there was one line in particular that wrecked me.

“A narrow grave for thy flesh to rot in is all that thou canst keep of thy largest possessions.”

It goes on to say that everyone must die and it got my wheels turning. At the end of my life, the only thing that will be left of me is a rock with my name on it. 

The word legacy has been popping up more and more in weird sporadic ways and it really had me thinking, what is my legacy going to be? When I’m long dead and gone what will I be remembered for? 

I didn’t have to think about the answer for very long. It’s Jesus. I want to be known for the way that I wildly, recklessly, unapologetically, embarrassingly, identified myself with Jesus. I want to wear Him on my sleeve and boast about Him every chance that I get. 

I’ve been reading psalm 31 for a while and there’s a few verses in particular that I’ve been meditating on pretty heavily. 

The first one is verse 5 - “Into your hand I commit my spirit.”

The second is verse 11 - “Because of all my adversaries I have become a reproach, especially to my neighbors, and an object of dread for my aquaintances.” 

God brought all of this together in the bitter realization that while loving Him with every ounce of my being and fully submitting my soul to Him is possible, I’m most definitely going to be an object of dread to certain people. 

Personally, I’ve come to terms with that. I will always pick being known by God and hated by people over being loved by people and a stranger to God. (Matt 9:21-23)