Hate Songs

Dear Beloved, 

  Not too long ago, I found myself crying out to the Lord. I wanted Him to give me clear directions on what I needed to do. At least a word of encouragement that I was going to be okay. I decided to sit down at my piano and write a song. Maybe I needed to be fresh out of a powerful worship moment for him to talk to me. 

  I understood that God talks to people differently. But I was hurt. I didn't understand why God would verbally communicate with other people and not me. I've been a Christian my whole life, you'd think that I would have gotten past this one-way communication struggle. I grew tired of feeling like I was talking to a wall. And I let God know it! You see, I sat down to write a song to get God to notice me. I had intended to write a song that would capture God's attention. But when I came back the next day to finish the song with a clearer head, I realized that the song I had written was a hate song.     

  I had become so blinded by my emotions at the moment. I didn't even realize that the song that I was writing was directly accusing God of leading me on. When I realized that I let my emotions get the best of me, I began to overflow with guilt. Even though I hadn't heard from God, I knew very well that he was real. I've seen Him work in my life. I've seen him protecting me when I was unaware. I felt very selfish at that moment. How was I going to be angry at God, and demand to hear his voice, when he had already done so much for me. I knew that I had crossed a line by writing that song.

  Weeks after, I saw a video that Tim Tebow had posted. In the video he shared that he too had never heard from God. He went on to say that just because God doesn't reveal to you every step of the way, doesn't mean that God's not with you. He'll open and close doors, and put people in your life to direct you and guide you in the direction he needs you to go. Watching his video hit me in a very deep place. It helped me to recognize that it's called a walk by faith, not walk by having everything mapped out and having all the facts before I listen. 

  God has always been there. I can look back on my life and tell you where he was moving. He will always shift us in the right direction. Whether we choose to listen or not, is on us. 

  God has unique ways of communicating and connecting with us. We just have to be open to it. Think about it... God is a supernatural being. Who's going to say that he isn't able to supernaturally communicate with us? God doesn't have built in vocal cordslike us. While he is perfectly capable of making his voice heard, he can use other ways to communicate with us. One of the most powerful ways that God communicates with us, is His word. The Bible. The more I began to read the Bible, the more I was able to tie it into areas of my life. The Bible is God’s way of communicating to us. 2 Timothy 3:16 states “All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” The Bible is God-breathed. And it is used to help to refine our relationship with Him.

If you were like me, and felt like you weren’t good enough to be spoken to by God. Just know that 1. You are not alone in what you are feeling. 2. God is speaking to you through either his word or other people. You just have to be willing to open your eyes and ears to what he is trying to tell you.